True Words - Except for the Title

"Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town"

i seem to recognize your face
haunting, familiar, yet i can't seem to place it
cannot find the candle of thought to light your name
lifetimes are catching up with me
all these changes taking place, i wish i'd seen the place
but no one's ever taken me
hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away...
hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away...
i swear i recognize your breath
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising
me, you wouldn't recall, for i'm not my former
it's hard when, you're stuck upon the shelf
i changed by not changing at all, small town predicts my fate
perhaps that's what no one wants to see
i just want to scream...hello...
my god its been so long, never dreamed you'd return
but now here you are, and here i am
hearts and thoughts they fade...away...
hearts and thoughts they fade...away...
hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away...
hearts and thoughts they fade...

How a Single Man Can Get Invited to a Swing Club

If you are a single man and would like to be invited to a swing club, first do a Google search for "Swing Clubs in [city and / or state] to find clubs near you.  Then check out their website to see if it's a club you'd like to go to.  Different clubs have different personalities, so do your homework to find the right one(s).

After you have found some clubs that interest you, call the number on their websites.   Most likely they will ask you a variety of questions to (a) make sure you know what you're getting into, and (b) to see if you are a good fit for their club.  

The next step is them asking to meet you (like in an interview), and this can be done in advance, or it can be done the first night you go to the club.  As the old saying goes, dress to impress!  As ZZ Top always said, Women go crazy for a sharp dressed man!  

There are some dumps out there, so be careful.  I've been to some beautiful clubs but would never play there because everyone was so stuffy and cliqueish.  I've been to some dives and would never play at those places because you'd never be sure if you might catch something.  Make sure that wherever you go they supply free condoms (and use them!), free lube, complimentary towels (and use them!), give you a tour and that they lay out all the rules.  Make sure you carefully follow all the rules if you want to keep cumming back for more!

And be sure to let me know how your adventure goes!  

Single Men at Swingers' Clubs

Some swing clubs will sometimes allow a single man to go in alone, but not usually.  Sometimes there are "single men allowed" nights.  A lot of women don't like to go on those nights because they feel like the men act too lecherous if they are single.  Yes, it is a sex club, but there is a right way and a wrong way to behave.  The men must be respectful of the women or they won't last long -- the club we go to would quickly boot a man right out for bad behavior and never allow him back in.  

At some places the men can be slimy, but the main place we go screens them really well.  You would never know a man was single at these events because they always behave like gentlemen.  They know that if they want to be invited back, they have to be on their best behavior.  

Would your wife care if you went alone?  

How we Swing

Some people may think that as a swinger we are not picky about who we fuck.  Or that we don't care where or how we meet who we fuck.  That would be incorrect.  

As swingers we go to clubs and resorts, as well as house parties that are specifically for swingers.  We originally joined LifeStyles, which is an organization geared specifically toward the LifeStyle.  We don't meet people in bars or discos, at regular parties, etc.  People in bars, etc., have no idea of how to play or what the rules are.  Yes, there are rules to swinging.  One rule is that everything is up to the woman.  If she doesn't like something, then it's a no go.  

Listen up ladies -- swinging protects you!!!  Your word is law.  If you are uncomfortable in a situation, all you have to do is speak up.  If you are in a reputable group of swingers, they will make sure your needs are taken care of.  

My personal favorite is going to resorts, either swing resorts, or regular resorts where we have a "takeover" planned.  

My favorite resort is actually in Mexico, but we haven't been there in years because of 9/11.  After 9/11 that resort went out of business due to travel constraints, and the airline that took us there went out of business.  So sad, it was in a beautiful little town, a lovely resort, and we met the most wonderful people there.  

We've gone to a number of conventions in Vegas and Reno, but we really don't enjoy the conventions much, so it's been a while since we've been to one.  

We often act as a host couple or care team members when we go to events.  Some people might think we're crazy to give up our time to do this, but (1) we get a break in the cost of the convention for doing this, and (2) we really have a great opportunity to meet more people this way.  

Condoms are an absolute must!  No condom, no play!  Not everyone in the LifeStyle feels this way, but that's definitely one of our rules. 

A lot of women in the LifeStyle are bisexual.  I think many couples get into it so the lady can indulge in woman on woman play, and the man can watch, if not actually participate.  Me, I prefer dick to pussy, but I'm never rude to a lady.  No, I won't munch her muff, but I have no problem at all if she wants to munch mine.  

Dean and I also have a secret code, so that if one of us feels uncomfortable in any situation, all we have to do is say the code phrase (no one else knows what it is except for me and Dean), and we will gently extricate ourselves from the situation without hurting anyone's feelings.  A code word, or a code phrase, is highly recommended.  

Do you swing?  If you don't, are you curious about it?  If you do swing, how do you swing?

No Telling

I have considered telling Dean about Mr. T, but I've decided against it.  I think the time has passed for me to tell him.  If I said something now he would wonder why I didn't say something before.

It's because I love Dean that I won't say anything.  After all, if Dean and I ran into some lady who had been the love of his life, and he was longing to be with her, wishing that they had never ended, I don't think I would want to know that.

I still don't think anything will happen with me and Mr. T.  Like I've said before, I'm sure he doesn't want to risk his marriage any more than I want to risk mine.  I consider my marriage to be a blessing, and Dean and I really do cherish each other.

Doing Better

It's been about a week and a half since I saw T, and I think I'm starting to recover.  I'm not crying anymore, so that's good.  Best to avoid each other, I think.

But I did figure out a way to have my cake and eat it too, if T decided he wanted to go there (I won't approach this with him myself).  Since Dean and I are swingers, I could just tell Dean that I want to play with T and he would be okay with that (but he would really want to join us).

But if I do that, and if I don't tell Dean what T and I were to each other, then I still feel like I would be cheating on Dean, because with T, it would really be so much more than "playing".  In that case, I suspect Dean might say that he doesn't want me to, and I wouldn't blame him.

What do you think?  What would you do in my situation?

Real-Time

This really is real-time.  Sometimes I write about things in the past, but this is happening right now.

I know better than to see T in person, but I really can't bear to lose touch with him again.  We were lovers for so long, and due to stupid choices we finally went our separate ways.  So much of that was my own fault.

I already lost him for so many years.  We are emailing a little.  We are keeping it light.  We are NOT sharing our feelings.  We are not talking on the phone, or in person.

In the morning, as I drive myself to work, I find tears streaming down my face because I'm heartbroken at this situation.

I cannot hurt my husband, so I can't see T.  I know I won't have the strength to say no to him if he wanted to go to a hotel room, therefore I will avoid him.  But don't worry, if I do run into him (by happenstance only), and we do end up in a hotel room, yes I will write about it.