Confidence and Insecurity

It is amazing feeling to find someone who understands you, someone you can be yourself with, someone you don’t have to hide your true self from.  That’s the way it is with me and Dean.  All people are weirdo’s in one way or another.  We all have our secrets.  We all have our strange (well, to other people anyway) behaviors.  It’s nice to find someone who loves you no matter what.

Sometimes you just connect with one person in a way you cannot connect with someone else.  Part of it could be that you have a history together; a common ground, having gone to the same school, grown up in the same neighborhood, maybe travel in the same circles, etc.  It was that way with me and Dean.  We have known each other since we were in high school, and he even knew my first husband in Jr. high (didn’t like him, but knew him).

When I was single and dating (after my first husband left me), I was seeing numerous men at the same time, and I was honest with all of them.  No, I told them, they were not the only man in my life, or in my bed, and I didn’t expect to be the only woman in their lives or their beds.  This always worked to my advantage; I’m telling you, those men loved being with me!  They knew they were with a confident, sexy, independent woman, and they loved that.  They never felt trapped or pressured or suffocated by me, like they did by so many other women.  I don't think men like to be with insecure women, but what do you think?  

Do you like to be with secure, confident people, or do you prefer them to lack confidence?  What is it you like about it? 

It can be hard to trust a man (or a woman0 if you’ve been hurt before; hard to believe the things s/he tells you.  I had that same problem myself when I first started seeing Dean and began falling in love; I felt like he was too good to be true, and I just had to give us some time to make sure.  In a new relationship, I believe it's important to give yourself lots of time  and not to rush into anything.  If it is meant to be, then it will be.  Time will tell. 

It's been my experience that the less you act like you want to commit, the more likely the other person will want to commit.  The more elusive you are, they more the other person will chase you.  Unless a man puts a ring on your finger (and I mean a diamond ring that came with a promise and a proposal), you don’t have to stop dating (or fucking) other men (unless you have already promised him you’ll stop dating other men, and then I'm sorry for you).  I believe a man is far less likely to get bored with a woman he sees as exciting, and when you’re dating other men, you are more exciting to other men.  

Do you feel that way, or not?  And if you feel that way also, why do you think that is? 

I would love to hear your thoughts about this.