It's been about a week and a half since I saw T, and I think I'm starting to recover. I'm not crying anymore, so that's good. Best to avoid each other, I think.
But I did figure out a way to have my cake and eat it too, if T decided he wanted to go there (I won't approach this with him myself). Since Dean and I are swingers, I could just tell Dean that I want to play with T and he would be okay with that (but he would really want to join us).
But if I do that, and if I don't tell Dean what T and I were to each other, then I still feel like I would be cheating on Dean, because with T, it would really be so much more than "playing". In that case, I suspect Dean might say that he doesn't want me to, and I wouldn't blame him.
What do you think? What would you do in my situation?
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Have you considered telling Dean about Mr. T? Maybe not all the juicy details but at least a part of your history? If you love and trust him you should be honest. If you approach the problem together it might not be as bad. You might even get to have a little cake without the guilt.
ReplyDeleteI think your gut is right, and if Dean knew the whole situation he wouldn't want you playing with T.
ReplyDeleteSo your choice is to either be less than honest with Dean (and hope things don't get out of control with T), or continue to stay away from T and allow the recovery to continue.
I suppose another option is to tell the whole story to Dean just in case, and see what he says, and maybe he'll surprise you. But I don't hold out a lot of hope for that option. ;)
I have considered telling Dean about Mr. T, but I've decided against it. I think the time has passed for me to tell him. If I said something now he would wonder why I didn't say something before.
ReplyDeleteIt's because I love Dean that I won't say anything. After all, if Dean and I ran into some lady who had been the love of his life, and he was longing to be with her, wishing that they had never ended, I don't think I would want to know that.
I still don't think anything will happen with me and Mr. T. Like I've said before, I'm sure he doesn't want to risk his marriage any more than I want to risk mine. I consider my marriage to be a blessing, and Dean and I really do cherish each other.