Well, it's Wednesday night ...
Every Wednesday night Dean is working at the club. This is not something I really like; it's a swing club, and I'm not there with him. Yes, I could go, but I don't so, "Why" you ask, "are you not there with him?"
Because I work full time, Monday through Friday, and often on Saturday as well. If the club were not so far away, I'm sure I would go, but it's easily a 2-hour drive, each way!
I don't like that he goes to the club without me. No, I'm not really concerned that he'll play without me, but I don't like it all the same. I want to go, after all, but not if it is a 2-hour drive. Not if I have to work the next morning, and I always do.
So you would think I'd like the fact that Dean has a regular gig, what with him having very little work these days, right? Not so, in this case. He makes that fricking 2-hour drive each way, works for 4 to 5 hours, and only gets paid $60! Ridiculous!
Another reason I don't like it is that if we go to the club on a night that he isn't working, like us going as a couple, going for fun (what a concept!), I hate it there now because everyone knows him, and only a few people know me! That's no fun for me, and in fact, makes for me to get my feelings hurt. I would like it much better if we went to a club where no one knows either of us instead. That way I would have a better chance of being seen as an individual, and not just as Dean's wife.
Does this make sense?
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It makes sense...but i think the reason why he likes to go is that everybody knows his name. Just like CHEERS lol. I think especially in marriages both partners need that escape place and thats his escape place. He enjoys it better cuz you won't bother to go. I dont think its that he is going to play without you but probbly its a confidence booster and when he brings his foxy lady (you) with him sometimes it probably makes him feel good that you know he is the man somewhere. With guys its all about EGO. I think its good for him. I think its good for you because you have opportunities to find an escape place. BUT if you really feel uncomfortable I say just start going with him. Not everytime but more often.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you're right ... he does need that ego stroke, which is why he became an entertainer in the first place. And everyone definitely knows his name there. When we go there together now, he tends to ignore me in favor of all his devoted fans. Hence, my hurt feelings.
ReplyDeleteHe and I talked about this a couple weeks ago, after we went to the club on a Saturday night to play (we didn't play ... we argued). And on the following night after going to a Burlesque show with some of our swinger friends, we argued again because he was again ignoring me in favor of his club friends.
I told him I won't go back to that club with him because I don't like being ignored by him. And that happens because everyone knows him, but few know me. We have to find a local club where they don't know him any more than they know me.
Sorry, but as a lady, I have to take back control of this situation. We need to have equal fun.
That's part of the beauty of being in the LifeStyle ... everyone in the LifeStyle knows that it's always lady's rules. After all, the one with the pussy makes the rules!
Now if we can only find a local club or house party!
Ladies do Rule LOL!!! I never went to a swingers club so not sure of the sexual dynamic and how the socialization works. But I can say I have been to a club a few times with my boyfriend at the time where many ppl knew him, girls were dancing on him. So I said if he is ok with that then I am going to do me. Socialize without him...take a few shots and have just as much fun...
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely right, and you handled it the right way, but sometimes a man just has to be reminded of who's really important ... his wife!
ReplyDeleteI'm happy for him to get that ego stroke when I'm not there (it really is good for him), but when I am there he'd better be paying attention to me. Yes, I guess that makes me a bit of a bitch, but I don't apologize for it. Hurt feelings don't make me want to play.
And I guess if it does happen again, then maybe I will just go off and find me a handsome stud to stroke my ego, and anything else that needs stroking, for that matter. But that's really not our agreement, and I don't want to bend or break our rules without talking about it first.
I may be a slut, but I'm an honest, and an honorable slut! >;->